How I Really Feel About Turning 40

I’ll be honest, in recent years when birthday time rolls around, I hadn’t thought too much about getting older… until now. In reality, it shouldn’t feel much different to this time last year. But the numerical yearly value attached to my time on this Earth has a powerful effect on perception as it ticks over into a new decade. And the perception seems to be universal, which influences my perception even more, especially when the most commonly asked question to me over the past three weeks has been “so how do you feel about turning 40?”

There’s a side of me that wants to respond with “like the last ounce of my youth has just disappeared”, or “like a kidless, wifeless, lonely old guy”, or even “like I’m now officially losing the race against time”, because that’s what I think people expect to hear, and deep down might even want to hear to make themselves feel better.

race-against-time

But these are just projections which society has imposed upon me. They are common perceptions of many men in the same stage of their life as me right now. So instead of answering the afore mentioned question with any of these self loathing, pessimistic phrases, I reply, proudly and with confidence, “I feel great!”

And this is the truth. When I think about how I actually feel, and not how I should feel based on societal norms, I feel…great. Fantastic in fact.

“Why?” you may ask with a hint of skepticism. For several reasons, which I will list for you in point form:

– I am the most knowledgeable I have ever been in my life.

– I feel in the best physical shape and health of my life, due largely to my accumulated understanding of how to avoid and manage injury, optimize recovery, train efficiently, eat properly and apply an advanced understanding of my own psychology, especially relating to motivation and discipline.

– I have over two decades under my belt of learning from my romantic relationships, and 3 decades of professional relationships.

– I am the most self aware I’ve ever been, and the closest I’ve ever been to mastering the power of living in, and appreciating the present moment, rather than focusing on the past or future, neither of which exist.

– I am more committed than ever to surrounding myself with good people, and avoiding or eradicating those from my life who don’t serve as a positive or uplifting influence.

– I am far more advanced than my younger years with regards to knowing my purpose and eradicating my ego from decisions or feelings about…well…everything.

marc-10I’ve come a long way…

Of course, there are obvious physiological challenges we all experience as we pass a certain age, such as metabolism slowing down, muscle and joint pain lingering longer after intense exercise, and skin losing it’s elasticity hence youthful appearance. Therefore it is important to accept that it requires harder work and discipline to minimize such effects of aging. Embrace it, and revel in the satisfaction of not allowing the aging process to take hold and beat you down.

Further to this point, I have noticed myself occasionally slip into a self-deprecating and defeatist approach to aging. For example I might say things like “I was able to do that back in the day”, “take it easy on me (on the rugby field) I’m getting old”, or “my back is so stiff today after training, that’s aging for you”.

The mind can be very impressionable, and the more we talk this way, the mind-body connection kicks in, and the older we will look and feel.

So…I will commit from now on to refraining from using such negative language, and instead speak in a way that elevates myself and doesn’t consist of making excuses or playing victim. For me it is way more satisfying to overcome the challenges of getting older than simply giving in to them.

marathon-w-dmacYep, life gets tougher on the body, but so what?!

Turning 40 has also exposed just how much time has passed, and passed quickly, especially when my celebrations have reunited me with long time friends after many years of absence. It is yet another reminder to live life to the fullest and maximize the remaining time I have.

Moving forward, I’d like to be frequently reminded to stay on the path to living to the max. I stumbled across a tool that really resonates with me when watching a TED talk by Tim Urban. He showed a slide where the life of an 80 year old was represented by a grid of small boxes, where each box represented a week.

I took the liberty of creating my own grid and filling in the boxes that have already expired. It’s a mind bender to see an entire lifetime (assuming I live to age 90) represented on just one sheet of paper. I have stuck it on my wall and will continue to color in each box at the end of that week until I die. It’s kind of like my version of having “Carpe Diem” tattooed on my wrist or ankle.

life-by-weeks-copy

So gents, what I’m essentially saying, is that while it’s important to accept and embrace the aging process, using it as an excuse for not working hard to be the best version of yourself is no bueno, and quite frankly, unYOGish.

Find your own trigger that reminds you how incredibly short life is, and to be the best version of you which is capable of squeezing every last drop out of the rest of your life.

1,032 thoughts on “How I Really Feel About Turning 40”

  1. Thanks Mark. Eloquently stated and exactly what I needed to hear being even more “knowledgeable” and “self aware” than you. Appreciate the insights and positive vibe!

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    30. Another thought: I think back to the article I read recently by John MacArthur who wondered why Atheists have to constantly attack Christian beliefs….why are Atheists not comfortable in their own unbeleif? Is it that they have nagging guilt in them?Are they so uncertain about what they do NOT believe that they have to constantly rag on Christians? It is ludicrous. Atheists must be the most insecure persons on earth.

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    24. You don't get a say in how much is spent on schools? I do. It does not amount to much but it is the same as anyone else's.Plus I decided to pull my children out of public schools: I don't have any. Pull the plug on the school bureaucracy that way.But don't come whining to me That you have no power and no choices, and then try to convince me it is because others stole your freedom. Everyone has choices.They just come with certain trade offs.

    25. Merci beaucoup Emiiiiii, ça fait toujours plaisir de voir que vous aimez nos applis…Nous allons en sortir d’autres prochainement.. si vous voulez en être informée, n’hésitez pas à nous laisser nous votre mail dans le « mot aux parents » ou sur notre site (tout en bas …)à bientôt j’espère…

    26. SATP, I’m hard-pressed to think of a worse Foreign Minister than Downer in my lifetime. (Actually I’m hard-pressed to even think of any names, which should give you a clue. Downer’s the only one who trod on his dick AFAIK. Hayden? Did alright. Who was Fraser’s FM? It’s all a non-distinguished but fairly competent blur.)

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    28. Personalmente envidia, ninguna. En realidad me alegro, pero repito, he trabajado en congresos…En uno bastante importante de informática, en la radio dijeron que venían 5000 asistentes (eran unos 3000, tenía el programa de gestión delante).Si venía la prensa o cotillas, en otro bastante importante, mi jefe decía que eran 6000 los congresistas… En realidad rozábamos los 4000.De ahí que sea tan escéptico. Si es de por sí el tema de manifestaciones y demás, donde hay intereses por todos lados, imaginaos en algo como esto…

    29. Bruno / Nos cristoes não podemos explicar todos o misterios do o universo, poi DEUS é soberano. Mas quero ver vcs centintas explicar o sobrenatural: Posseçãos demoniacas, curas milagrosas, trasformação de materias (ja vi metal virar ouro num piscar de olhos) e varias outras coisasGostei deste comentário ou não: 2

    30. Julia comentou em 5 de maio de 2012 às 22:10. Julia, reparei que vc tem usado bastante esse pincel para blushele é o novo da natura una? estou precisando de um novo e de preferencia nacional, tem alguma dica?ouvi dizer que o da natura é bom porem vi algumas pessoas dizendo que ele é pequenobeijos

    31. Hallo,danke für die rasche Antwort. Ich platziere das Gerät direkt mittig auf dem Armaturenbrett, so wie alle meine zuvorigen Navis. Gab da noch nie Probleme. Ich nutze es in der Innenstadt von Berlin, wo andere Navis auch bisher nen guten Empfang hatten.Befürchte dass das Gerät dann wohl einen Defekt hat. Sehr schade, da ich es kommende Woche für den Urlaub nutzen wollte.Danke für den Support. Übrigends eine sehr gute Webseite.

    32. comentou em 7 de julho de 2012 às 09:29. vc disse exatamente o q eu penso! inclusive meu blog foi criado pra reforcar essa ideia mesmo, de que essa glamourizacao q criaram em cima das mulheres é na verdade uma grande bobagem! ser chik é ser inteligente, é saber gastar bem seu dinheiro e ser acessivel a todas as pessoas! simplicidade é luxo e a maxima do “menos é mais” deve ser usada cada vez mais nos tempos de hj! parabens!

    33. gracias a anonymous, sabemos quienes son los pendejos y pendejas que jugaron con fuego,ahora tendran su merecido, se van a morir por sus pendejadas y tendran que escupir los verdaderos nombres de quienes les ordenaron alterar las votaciones de forma electronica y por lo tanto traicionar al pueblo de mexico…………muerte violencia y repudio a los traidores de mexico…..

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    15. Perhaps, Harper will give this drunk henchman Boessenkool, a cozy overseas appointment, as he did his other drunk henchman Gordon Campbell. I am surprised Boessenkool even resigned, Campbell didn’t and he was rewarded. Boessenkool, may have jumped the gun, with no need to do so. Harper had another weirdo working for him. Bruce Carson, a many times convicted felon.Usually politicians and the elite in BC, only need a special prosecutor to get off their crimes. Hell, one corrupt Premier got away with, thieving and selling an entire railroad.

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    19. the UN effort is “a non-violent strategy with very violent purposes.”(Eleanor Kilroy, Aug.31, 2011 on Mondo ).We’ve discussed this before on Eleanor Kilroy’s thread last August. When avid Zionists start praising a Palestinian, you have to start wondering about the guy. I don’t consider being dubbed “ben-Gurion” a compliment to any Palestinian; 400 destroyed Palestinian villages and 700,000 expelled Palestinians attest to that.

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    21. For as offensive as it is to blaming Obama in this, can we agree that it is equally offensive to use the "teabagger" or "denier" smear? The fact is, eliminating IP would cause intense hardship on New Yorkers and provide nothing in environmental benefit – in fact, it would inflict more harm. Can we stick to the facts and recognize our real adversary – anti-nukes – and not merely our political ones?

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    28. Why are you spraying ANYTHING on the lawn? Get a spreader and put down weed/feed/bug killer. Better yet, with the size of your yard, hired a one-time lawn contractor to come out and do it. Save your muscles and spend under $100 for the job 2x a year. The rest of the time, once you get the issues under control again, you can do it yourself. Judging from what you wrote, you haven't been doing so great at it, so spend a few $$ and get some results and save yourself a lot of headaches.

    29. The line about BWR systems that you’re having so much fun with is NOT a quote from Baldwin; it’s the reporter’s wording.Also, I’m not sure why a failure to explicitly distinguish reactor systems from BOP completely invalidates the broader point.

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    31. Thanks Heather, I hope there is a way. I seem to remember reading somewhere that someone requested a recipe and they mailed it to them on nice decorative paper. That was a long time ago, and I can’t seem to find the reference. In the meantime, if you come across the Santa Rosa Corn Chowder recipe from the Pacific Wharf Cafe, please do share.

    32. Yes, guys don’t understand the difference. My boy used to sew race car canopies made out of sail cloth at his job, but when he tried to sew a wheelchair rain cover on a White home sewing machine, it was very frustrating. We tried my New Home/Janome, and it was easier, but still not that great. Don’t get frustrated! Maybe you can find a Juki on eBay!

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    13. Ãœslup konusunda Asil Balaban bence biraz sert yorum yapmış .Yorumu okuyunca tekrardan okudum. Yalnız “Söz Fato’da” nereden aklınıza geldi 🙂 Sabah sabah güldürdün :)Iphone gelince bence bu model Iphone 4S Plus olarak adlandırılmalı. Kötü demiyorum sadece beklentiyi o kadar yükseltiyorlar ki sonuç hüsranmış hissi uyandırıyor.

    14. Chùi ui,nhìn mẻ bánh mì mÅ©m mỉm dễ thÆ°Æ¡ng quá ta Æ¡i P/s: L ui,sao c kg vô đc nhà em từ tối qua đến giờ lun đó…kg biết do mạng hay sao mà chị hay bị out hoài lun

    15. Yo crecí con la fantasía del niño Jesús. Mi hija con la de Santa, intenté decirle muchas veces que santa sólo existe en el corazón de las personas y que no era real pero ella decía que yo estaba mintiendo jajajajajaja! que Santa sí existía, pues no pude con eso, hasta hace muy poco que ya casi tiene 11 años y le dije que este año Santa ya no venía y que como siempre había pasado nosotros le compraríamos su regalo. Ella sonrió…

    16. I recently purchased NYX jumbo lip pencils – and I can't believe how creamy and pigmented they are! My favourite is soft fuschia (name is misleading – it's a brownish pink)..it's the perfect nude for my NC35 colouring.I was looking at India on the Cherry Couture website – but I think I want to try Margarita or Vitamin next – they are coral shades, and I don't own any lipsticks in that colour.

    17. Hi there just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The text in your content seem to be running off the screen in Ie. I’m not sure if this is a format issue or something to do with internet browser compatibility but I figured I’d post to let you know. The design look great though! Hope you get the issue resolved soon. Kudos

    18. Took me time to learn all of the feedback, but I actually loved the article. It proved to be Very useful to me and Im positive to all of the commenters here! It’s always good when you can not solely be informed, but additionally entertained! I’m positive you had enjoyable penning this article.

    19. Posted by on September 20, 2010 at 5:43 pm Wendy,I got the sound to work ok now. It was a glitch with my computer. Technology!You’ve brought up some key points about finding your niche, what you’re passionate about. Stepping into something unknown up to now is nerve racking at first, but with time, you’ll be an old pro at it and not be nervous. You did great! Just keep doing videos!Val .-= Val Wilcox´s last blog .. =-.

    20.   EspenDa fÃ¥r du handle i mÃ¥rra da! FÃ¥r du gi meg en rapport pÃ¥ Ã¥ssen det var.. (greia er at jeg tør ikke løpe nøklevann fordi jeg er redd for at du skal gruse meg i bakkene…………..NOT!)

    21. Schools aren’t businesses; they are a public good. Schools are part of neighborhoods, of communities, and public schools are vital to community cohesion.Please read up on the history of public education and then perhaps you can intelligent discuss the purpose of public ed.

    22. Caro Samuel:O blogue começa a ficar um bocado "ajavardado"…Passa-se deste, em que se vê um porco a "falar" com um sindicalista, para o anterior, em que se vê outro porco a "fazer" de sindicalista.Que raio. Já são porcos demais!Rui Silva

    23. To build on Jeff’s comment: why did the term bootcamp replace the term immersion? Is it a time-based constraint or a true difference in knowledge-gained? Ben, you went to live in South America (Chile) to become immersed in the culture, the language, etc; would you say you went to a Chile Bootcamp?

    24. Since 2006, if modified food starch contained wheat, it would have to be listed on the label as such by law. It’s been a long time since I’ve come across MFS listing wheat as an ingredient but some are out there I’m sure. If something contains MFS I don’t avoid it unless it lists wheat on the label, or it contains gluten in another form, not related to the MFS. Most companies are switching to corn for their MFS, though you’ll see some that use tapioca as well.

    25. Hihi, 38 de comentarii È™i abia spre sfârÈ™it s-a prins lumea c? Django nu e CMS Ce mi se pare un pic ciudat e c? s-a insistat s? se lanseze versiunea “mai puÈ™in testat?” a site-ul. Murea cineva dac? se întârzia cu o s?pt?mân?-două? È™i care-i firma misterioas? care a fost contractat? pentru Hotnews.ro?

    26. Per Elena (quella del 3D epico) Io ho creato ben 3 profili di persone inesistenti su Facebook, tra cui due donne, e nessuno mi ha disattivato niente.Se ho ben capito, la cancellazione non è stata decisa per stanare profili femminili falsi. È stato un errore. Siccome ormai la notizia era di dominio pubblico, Librofacce ha preferito chiedere un documento di identità per riattivare profili preesistenti. Lo ha fatto, sempre secondo quanto ho capito, per evitare che certi impostori fossero più veloci, e chiedessero la riattivazione prima delle legittime intestatarie.

    27. …mold, "What was that Internet Law about unilaterally declaring yourself the 'winner'?If you have to TELL folks how wonderful you are….."You must be talking to dr queen.:)>>>>>>>>Trust me dear, no one would EVER confuse me with a person who has as little self-esteem and confidence as you apparently do!

    28. Posted on Ja boję się patrzeć o czym mój nawija (8 lat) grając w minecrafta, roblox i blockland (wszystkie w multi). Wyczaił te gierki przez youtube ponad rok temu. I farmi mi.recona i wsparcie w.bf3 bo ja tymi nie gram Cóż, nowe pokolenie!

    29. Insuperable la descripción realizada. En relación con el anterior artículo le pregunto que colores de corbata se puede utilizar con chaque y camisa de rayas azules y blancas como son de su agrado; me imagino que granate, pero que otros colores puede utilizar?

    30. This is the worst … This is the worst video I have ever watched. Expert villiage should come to my home. I know more about proper fish keeping then any human on earth!

    31. Joer, si adivino, además, que el pase iba a ser de Afellay ya me tiro a las apuestas esportivas esas…Y lo de Pepe, para los madridistas, igual compensa los partidos en los que tenía que haber sido expulsado y terminó los 90 minutos.Paco, vai preparando esos 50 pavos…Habrá que hacer algo con esa semi-erección… 🙂

    32.  ( 2012.03.6 01:37 ) : Thanks for the sensible critique. Me and my neighbor were just preparing to do a little research on this. We got a grab a book from our local library but I think I learned more clear from this post. I am very glad to see such excellent information being shared freely out there.